Don’t Despise Your Spouse - disnaija.com

Categories: Nigeria News

Aidy-Thomas

Facial expressions sometimes mirror what is in the mind but no one can be completely sure of what goes on in other people’s thoughts. Not being able to see through people’s imagination is one of the greatest wisdom of nature; this would have caused enormous friction in relationships.

How would you explain a situation where a wife knew her husband brought some money home and she went behind to arrange for robbers to visit? Would her husband count her as the prime suspect? Probably not: he might be busy accusing and arresting innocent souls outside his home or other people living with them.

It will be extremely difficult for a wife whose husband just came home from work with a bouquet of lovely flowers and say ‘I love you honey’ to suspect that he is just leaving the bosom of a strange woman/lover. How do you reconcile both? He claims to be in love with his wife; buys her flowers yet spends time and resources on another woman outside their relationship.

Jones and Emma left their teenage daughter at home when they left for work in the morning. She smiled and kissed both parents good bye as usual, when mum returned and found an empty house she thought “oh Sandra is hanging out with friends again at the park”. Dad came in later and still not found their damsel home. As the summer brightness gave way to late nightfall, they knew something silly would have happened to their little girl. First, phone calls but lines were dead, friends were contacted but everyone seemed lost, neighbours checked out but all signs of finding Sandra turned red. A closer look on her dressing table revealed a tiny folded pink ‘stick it note pad’ with a note that she had moved out of her parents home for good.  The first thing mum said was “How come I didn’t see this coming?” The father said “she showed no signs of discontent at all”. No one could see that beyond her morning smiles laid mischief of escape from home.

We have all been deceived or betrayed by people we never thought could do so. Would you stop trusting people simply because you don’t know what they are thinking about you? No! Life is all about risk and faith; you keep hoping for the best.

Having said all these, the summary therefore is that you cannot control what people think or tell them how to see situations. When it comes to relationships, a whole lot of things happen between couples which sometimes make them do things you’ll never expect. Some relationships are sweet and smooth when things are going on well but as soon as there’s a down turn in a way, bitterness pours in. I read a woman’s confession in a magazine recently about her husband who lost his job and could not find another for about eight months. She was the one footing the bills and sorting the home for that period- there is nothing wrong with that as long as the man is not lazy or folding his arms and expecting windfalls. You are in the relationship to support each other and cover lapses when necessary. The shock came when she said her respect for him ceased because he was no longer taking care of the family. Everyone knows it can be challenging for only one person to handle the bills especially if the income is barely enough but it will help a great deal if people can educate themselves about the reality of relationships. In life, things change and some changes come without notice so if your relationship passes through a little bit of negative changes; be courageous enough to pull through.

People may despise you during …

•Sickness: A tall, handsome and rich guy you meet today can be reduced to a no body within just six months of illness and a beauty queen that swept your feet at first sight can turn undesirable within a twinkle of an eye. If you once confessed love and care for your spouse why are you acting differently now that he/she is sick and helpless? Has the love died?

It is now you should even prove it more. I know it can be difficult especially when you don’t know when it will be over- it’s like your whole life is in jeopardy and your dreams ended. When you see people abandon their spouse on the wheelchair and runoff, you might be tempted to say “how heartless could they be”?  The truth is that it is not easy but with understanding you can make it, you can decide to be there for them as part of your support.

•Failure: Success, it is said has many friends and relatives. A failing spouse in business, education, job or investment needs more encouragement than a child who knows nothing about life and its challenges. Telling your spouse how much you believe in him/her even when they are failing is a priceless offer. They just want to be sure what is happening to them has not defined them negatively. The way you handle your spouse in failure will determine to a great extent how soon they can bounce back to life.

•Wrong decisions: People who are married can tell you that taking decisions can be challenging especially when the wife’s opinion is different from her husband’s. Competition comes in subtly and each party looks forward to seeing the other fail. If your suggestion is the successful one, handle it with maturity and don’t rub it in for your spouse to see you are more accurate, intelligent or smart; after all he/she married you because of those nice qualities so keep cool.

•Insinuations: I don’t like people who go about planting bad seeds in others. If your relationship is good and working great, thank heavens and pray for others. Don’t go to people telling them what their spouse have not done for them and what yours do. Allow people to live their own lives- “all fingers are not equal”.  Don’t teach people how to maltreat their spouse, mind yours. Funny enough, most stories people tell about how wonderful their love is turn out to be lies. They just want to set you up- as a matter of fact, they desire and even prefer your relationship. If given the chance, they’ll take over your spouse with the speed of light.

•Small beginnings: Don’t despise the days of small beginnings because you do not know tomorrow. Treat your spouse as a king/queen so if they become one in future you’ll be proud of whom you were yesterday. Don’t be rude; work together and some day, greatness will knock.

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Posted in Nigeria News. A DisNaija.Com network.

Source: PM News

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