{"id":2759,"date":"2013-04-28T07:27:13","date_gmt":"2013-04-28T07:27:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/disnaija.com\/nigerian-newspapers\/life-is-like-a-grapefruit\/"},"modified":"2013-04-28T07:27:13","modified_gmt":"2013-04-28T07:27:13","slug":"life-is-like-a-grapefruit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/disnaija.com\/life-is-like-a-grapefruit\/","title":{"rendered":"Life is like a grapefruit"},"content":{"rendered":"
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I hate being disappointedand I have had my fair share of those; unrequited love, broken heart, visa rejection, denied promotions, unfulfilled promises, etc. I hate the crushed feeling that follows in the aftermath of a major disappointment; the unrealized expectations, the self-recrimination and self-doubt. This week I was disappointed when a prospective client that I had pitched a learning and development solution to decided to go with another service provider. It was a big letdown for me and I waited for two days before I finally read what I rightly perceived as a rejection email, albeit a nicely worded on.<\/p>\n

This experience made me think about a time in my life when I suffered a major setback and how I dealt with the disappointment. It happened five years after graduating from college. I had secured admission to a foreign university to pursue a Master\u2019s degree in Business Administration and was in the process of applying for a visa. After queuing for several hours in the rain, I finally made it into the embassy only to have my student visa application summarily rejected by a consular officer. To make matters worse, he cancelled my existing visitors\u2019 visa and ruined my chance of attending my sister\u2019s wedding abroad. What a double whammy!<\/p>\n

When I got home that evening, all I could do was crawl into my bed, under the covers, with the lights off. I was numb with disbelief as my mind grappled with the unfairness of what I had just experienced. I thought about all the time, energy and money invested over the past twelve months. I thought about the pitying looks from friends and colleagues who I would have to recount my rejection to. A sense of shame slowly washed over me. Others had applied for this same visa and were successful. What was wrong with me? Why was I rejected? What was I going to do next?<\/p>\n

If you have recently experienced a major disappointment in your professional or personal life, here are steps you can take to effectively deal with it. These steps helped me get over the hurdles disappointments can create, and move on to an even stronger finish.<\/p>\n

(i) Don\u2019t take it personal:You don\u2019t have a monopoly on disappointment. Everyone gets disappointed several times in their lifetime. Disappointment happens in your mind and is determined by your perception. Separate the event from your feelings. If your perception causes you to be disappointed, then you have the power to overcome disappointment by changing your perception. Disappointment is a wayfaring visitor, looking for a place in your mind to dwell. It can\u2019t come in unless you invite it in and it will only leave when you ask it to.<\/p>\n

(ii) Have a good cry or put your fist through a wall: There is nothing wrong with feeling let down, hurt or disappointed. The challenge is choosing to stay that way and letting the experience color your outlook on life. Crying or venting is a way of releasing pent up feelings and can be therapeutic for a season, after that it becomes downright destructive. Take a moment to acknowledge your disappointment, then move on. Face it and deal with it. I faced my disappointment by daring to show up at work the next day instead of calling in sick.<\/p>\n

(iii) Put things in Perspective: Suffering a disappointment may be a major setback, but is it really the end of the world? Our plans don\u2019t always play out the way we expect them to and adaptability is required for moving forward. Most of the time what we perceive as the denial of a desired outcome, is simply a delay. Achieving our goals sometimes means navigating around obstacles and unforeseen detoursin our way. Today I have my MBA.<\/p>\n

(iv) Identify lessons learned and course-correct:Failure is nothing but future success masquerading in the present. Sometimes disappointment is an indication that we need to reevaluate our expectation, options or plans and possibly make changes. I thought I was prepared for my first visa interview but I was obviously not. During the next twelve months I was coached to become adept at answering the tricky questions of consular officers and I aced my interview the second time around.<\/p>\n

(v) Refocus your energy on actions within your control: There is truth in the saying that one should not cry over spilled milk. What is done, is done. It can\u2019t be undone, it can only be redone. You must take all that energy and let it fuel your drive to succeed. I focused my energy on getting the school to defer my admission for a year and continuing to work and live my life in spite of the setback, until the time came for me to reapply for the visa.<\/p>\n

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Read more of Adetayo\u2019s articles athttp:\/\/readinessedge.wordpress.com\/<\/p>\n

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Posted in Nigerian Newspapers. <\/a>A DisNaija.Com<\/a> network.<\/p>\n

Source: The Nation Newspaper<\/p>\n

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