Nigerian Newspapers

Laagbe’s many wives

Published

13 years ago

June 2, 2013

Long before he got married, we, his friends knew Laagbe would end up with more than one wife. He was that kind of guy. If he had a girlfriend stressing him, he called her bluff and hooked up with another in his pool. He is a multiple entry person. You give him a visa, he’ll find a way of using it as many times as possible. No single entry for him. Yeah, he believed in the theory of the spare tire – if one goes flat, remove it, replace it with a spare while you figure out whether you need a vulcanizer or a tire dealer. We knew he was spoilt but the women loved him. They flocked around him and he used them like disposable towels. He loved, still loves, variety and kept a basketful.

So, by the time Laagbe married his second wife and in less than six years married the second, we knew he wanted to live his dream. Some of us also knew he would eventually have to live with the nightmare. For one, here was a man who didn’t know where and when to stop. He believed every wife needs competition to stay on the straight and narrow path. Get a second wife to check the excesses of the first wife, that is his motto. Now, that is dumb but I have heard many men repeat the slogan. I can’t understand where that logic originated from and why a sensible man would even consider it. I mean, let’s look at it: how can adding an extra trouble to an existing one reduce your troubles? If you go fishing and catch tilapia, then decide that a scaly fish is too much trouble, how does getting a second tilapia reduce the amount of scales you have to deal with in your kitchen? But haven’t we all found out that it is only men who think adding dysentery to malaria makes you stronger?

Well, let’s go back to Laagbe’s compound. By the time we decided to warn him not to spell MARRIAGE, he had already married eight women and put them under one roof. Now, there are a few men who keep peaceful harems. They are in charge and in control of their compounds. They know their responsibilities and their many wives know theirs. Laagbe, like many men, just think a second wife is a tool to scorn the first and if your two wives become too chummy for your liking, get a third and if the three start running rings round you, get a fourth. And since Laagbe was a multiple entry guy even as a bachelor, his cup soon started running over. With eight wives, he had it all – power, pain and plenty of pampering. Oh yes, he had all of them at his beck and call but when you have eight wives, you are also at their beck and call, trust me. They were not all now running rings round every area of his life, they had him in a vise grip. The way they competed for his attention was the way he had to service eight waists.

The competition was stiff, so keen GLO, MTN,AIRTEL and ETISALAT saw Laagbe’s harem and went totally green with envy. These women were forever doing one promo or the other to outdo one another and get their husband in their corner. They bleached their skin and spent fortunes on their hair. They had closets full of the sexiest lingerie and night wear. They soon took the battle to a new frontier when they went spiritual. The first two went as far as Mali to seek the Marabouts who saw the sun only three times in a year. The last two went after prophets who live permanently in the wilderness. The remaining four combined prophets, marabouts and witchdoctors. They laced their husband’s food with powder from spiritualists, ran his bath with spiritual water from the mountain. Poor Laagbe had his photograph in covens, on beach altars, under praying mats in Mali and all his wives laced their private parts with something tantalising. Laagbe’s little republic was full of tasty sensation.

Hmmmn, but when you are an unwilling member of eight spiritual covens and groups, your head cannot be ‘straight’, neither can your life remain the same. When Laagbe’s fortunes started going steadily south, he also started running around. He was advised to stop sleeping with all his wives and he boycotted their meals. He started sleeping in prayer houses. Even single entry visas he turned down. He now had a mortal fear of ‘entering’ anywhere. His third leg stayed in its God-assigned location. With no husband to torment, Laagbe’s wives unleashed terror on one another. The first wife accused the others of bringing bad luck into her home. The other seven accused her of not being woman enough to keep her man from straying. The youngest accused all of them of conspiring to deprive her of what they’d all enjoyed.

The cacophony was deafening. Peace flew out of the window. Laagbe sent them all packing, choosing to die a bachelor. For where? We his friends knew Laagbe had no gift for keeping his staff of office in the office. We knew he would eventually start flinging his thing around and get into trouble again. And there was no guarantee that the new or next batch of wives would come with NAFDAC numbers. So we advised him to recall his prodigal wives, make them swear to be of good behaviour and give them strong warnings. Their tenures as Mrs Laagbe would be renewable and could be terminated as soon as they became cantankerous again. Above all, we advised him to watch his back and trust nobody.

Come to think of it, that is my advice for President Jonathan. He is a man of many wives, whether he married them himself or inherited them. And if a man has a colourful harem like Mr President, he can count on a colourful life. All his days will be full of tasty sensation. So, should he do away with one or all his wives because he is not pleased with them? I won’t advise that. The President’s wives are not all bad or all good. A fresh set of wives he can’t and shouldn’t trust either. They all have children for him, so they will always have something to do for and with him. It’s a tight union. Disagreements are a must. The most important advice is Mr President should not trust the wives milling around him and promising him seventh heaven. He should not think they all love him, unconditionally. No such thing, sir. Like Laagbe’s wives, they all, all of them, have private and hidden agenda. Sending one or all of them away won’t do because Yoruba elders say only a level headed elder can keep a peaceful home. Every wife in a harem wants to be the favourite, the one who shares the husband’s bed probably every night. A man with many wives must not lose sight of the fact that a woman will do whatever she has to do to protect her territorial integrity.

Mr President, please watch your back, all your wives know why they are doing what they are doing. Their hands are still in their pockets, you do not know if they are holding cakes or grenades. You don’t even know if those who say they are holding cakes will ‘deliver’ them to you. It’s their cake. It’s your decision. This is my take on the Nigerian Governors Forum crisis and unfolding drama.

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This Day

Military, Police Ring Abuja to Forestall Boko Haram Attack

Published

5 years ago

May 1, 2021

•Deploy more personnel as army chief vows to wipe out terror group
•Security beefed up at N’Assembly

Deji Elumoye and Kingsley Nwezeh in Abuja

Abuja, Nigeria’s seat of power, is under a massive security cordon following threats of attacks by insurgents and the increasing wave of banditry in the contiguous states of Kaduna, Kogi, Nasarawa and Niger States, THISDAY’s investigation has revealed.

There has been a wave of kidnappings in the outskirts of the federal capital, notably Pegi, Tuganmaje and Kuje among others, which the police have battled in recent times.

The security situation in and around the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) was heightened by the pronouncement of the Niger State Governor, Mr. Sani Bello, that Boko Haram fighters who he said sacked 50 villages in the state and hoisted the terror group’s flag, were about two hours drive away from the FCT.

Security has also been beefed up at the National Assembly as operatives, yesterday, thoroughly screened every vehicle approaching the National Assembly complex in Abuja.

The deteriorating security situation nationwide prompted the National Chairman of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), Prince Uche Secondus, to warn that the 2023 general election may not hold, demanding the declaration of a state of emergency as well as the convocation of a national conference.
However, the Chief of Army Staff, Lt. Gen. Ibrahim Attahiru, yesterday restated the Nigerian Army’s determination to annihilate Boko Haram.

But the Governor of Katsina State, Hon. Bello Masari, cautioned against declaring a state of emergency, saying doing so isn’t the solution to combat the security challenges facing the country.
The security of the nation’s airports was also in focus yesterday as the Office of the National Security Adviser (ONSA) said there was no threat to them.

THISDAY’s investigations showed increased presence of troops, police, Nigerian Security and Civil Defence Corps (NSCDC) personnel and intelligence operatives at the three strategic entrances to the city notably, Keffi, Zuba and Gwagwalada.

More checkpoints were also mounted around Gwagwalada and Keffi.
THISDAY also observed increased intelligence deployment at the entrance and the borders of FCT with contiguous states.

Beyond the borders, there were more deployments and police patrols inside the city and increased intelligence deployments as well.
Security sources told THISDAY: “There are deployments here and there but they are routine. Alertness is key to a secure environment.”

It was also learnt that security agencies were involved in frenzied meetings throughout yesterday.
The meetings, coordinated by the office of the Chief of Defence Staff under the new joint operational strategy of the armed forces, were aimed at coordinating a joint response to possible threats of attack to the FCT.

“I understand the security teams have been meeting for some days now and if you look around you, you will notice that there are increasing patrols and numbers of security personnel. The threats are not been taken lightly,” a source said.

National Assembly workers, lawmakers and visitors also had a harrowing experience accessing the legislative complex due to heightened security in the area.
Security operatives thoroughly screened every vehicle approaching the National Assembly complex in Abuja, impeding both human and vehicular traffic.

The Sergeant-at-arm of the National Assembly and other security agencies supervised the operations, leading to huge traffic build-up inside the complex.

Legislative staff, visitors and lawmakers were seen patiently waiting for their cars to be searched so that they could go ahead with the business of the day.
Some staff and visitors at some point got tired of waiting and were seen alighting from their cars to trek from the gate to the complex.

Meanwhile, the ONSA has said there is no threat to the nation’s airports.
A statement by the Head of Strategic Communication, Mr. Zachari Usman, said the reports of threats to the airports were an internal correspondence of security threat assessment misconstrued as security threat to the airports.

PDP Demands State of Emergency

In a related development, the PDP National Chairman, Prince Uche Secondus, yesterday demanded the declaration of a state of emergency, warning that the 2023 general election might not hold if the federal government failed to tackle insecurity.

He called on the federal government to summon a national conference to address the spike in insecurity.
Secondus added that the national caucus of the party will meet today to discuss the state of the nation.

Addressing members of the National Executive Committee (NEC) in Abuja, Secondus said: “We are worried Abuja is not even safe. It is no longer politics. We got alert of plots to bomb and burn down our airports.

“We urge the federal government to declare a national state of emergency in security. There is the need to call a national conference to discuss the insecurity in the country.

“There may not be any election in 2023 in Nigeria due to insecurity. This government must listen to the people. The Buhari government should call a national confab to discuss security and state of the nation. It is no longer politics. This time we are not playing politics. Let’s keep politics aside and move the nation forward.”
He said the country had been grounded, regretting that there had been no matching response from the federal government.

Secondus said in the past, terrorism in the North was confined to the North-east, but with the report of Boko Haram occupying villages in Niger State, terrorism had spread to the North-central
“Herdsmen are also menacing in the West; gunmen causing havoc in the East; and the militants in the South; all killing, looting, raping, maiming and burning down homes. The situation is bad; Nigerians all over are living in fear,” he said.

The Senate Minority Leader, Senator Enyinnaya Abaribe, said the problem of Nigeria was outside of the PDP headquarters, while pledging the support of the Senate to the declaration of state of emergency in security.

Abaribe said he deliberately decided not to speak on the floor of the Senate but to allow the APC senators to speak so as to avoid being accused of giving a partisan colouration to the issue of insecurity.

He stated that only electoral reforms would give victory to the opposition party in the 2023 general election and ensure a democratic defeat of the APC-led federal government.
Also, the Minority Leader of the House of Representatives, Hon. Ndudi Elumelu, commended the NEC and the PDP leadership for their collective efforts at resolving the House leadership crisis.

The NEC meeting adopted the position of Secondus, calling on the federal government to convoke a national conference to discuss the state of insecurity in the country, according to a communiqué read by the National Publicity Secretary, Mr. Kola Ologbondiyan.

Army Chief Vows to Wipe Out Boko Haram

The army yesterday reiterated its commitment to wipe out Boko Haram.
Chief of Army Staff (COAS), Lt. Gen. Ibrahim Attahiru, told reporters in Maiduguri, Borno State that Boko Haram had been defeated in many encounters and would continue to be defeated until it’s annihilated from Nigeria.

“We will take on Boko Haram decisively, and we are committed to the focus of the operations, which is the total annihilation of Boko Haram from Nigeria,” he said.

The COAS, who was visiting the headquarters of Operation Lafiya Dole in Maiduguri for the fifth time since his appointment four months ago, said the visit was to boost the morale of the troops, reassure them and listen to any issues affecting them.

Earlier, the Theatre Commander of Operation Lafiya Dole, Maj. Gen. Farouq Yahaya, lauded the visit, which he said had continued to boost the morale of the troops.
“We are honoured, we are grateful, we are encouraged by those visits. You provided us guidance, logistics and other things we required. We are most grateful for those visits,” Yahaya said.

State of Emergency Won’t Solve Security Challenges, Says Masari

Katsina State Governor, Hon. Aminu Masari, has, however, said declaration of a state of emergency won’t solve the security challenges facing the nation.
Masari, who spoke yesterday with journalists after meeting with the Chief of Staff to the President, Prof. Ibrahim Gambari at the State House, Abuja stated that he was against the recent call by the House of Representatives for the declaration of a state of emergency in the security sector as it would not solve the problem.
According to him, declaring a state of emergency will not achieve the desired effect as the security structure and personnel to be used to execute the emergency are already overstretched in a bid to safeguard lives and property.

Sourced From: THISDAYLIVE

Tribune

Nigeria records 55 new COVID-19 infections, total now 165,110

Published

5 years ago

May 1, 2021

Tribune Online
Nigeria records 55 new COVID-19 infections, total now 165,110

The Nigeria Centre for Disease Control (NCDC) has recorded 62 new cases of COVID-19, bringing the total number of infections in the country to 165,110. The NCDC disclosed this on its official Twitter handle on Friday. “55 new cases of #COVID19Nigeria; Lagos-21, Yobe-19, Ogun-6, Akwa Ibom-3, Kaduna-2, Plateau-2, FCT-1, Rivers-1.” YOU SHOULD NOT MISS THESE HEADLINES FROM NIGERIAN TRIBUNE COVID-19: Nigeria Recorded […]

Nigeria records 55 new COVID-19 infections, total now 165,110
Tribune Online

Sourced From: Tribune Online

Premium Times

Insecurity: Lagos bans occupation of abandoned buildings

Published

5 years ago

May 1, 2021

The government said that no worker should stay back beyond 6:00 p.m. within premises of buildings undergoing construction.

The post Insecurity: Lagos bans occupation of abandoned buildings appeared first on Premium Times Nigeria.

Sourced From: Premium Times Nigeria

The Nation

UFC: Usman gets N584m after beating Masvidal

Published

5 years ago

May 1, 2021

Kamaru Usman has raked in a mammoth £1.1million, about N584.2 million after his impressive knockout victory over Jorge Masvidal on Saturday night, Sportivation.com.ng reports.

The Nigerian Nightmare has been handsomely rewarded for his stunning performance and he was the best-paid fighter on the card which was witnessed by 15, 000 fans in Florida.

According to Daily Mail, Usman earned £538,000 to show up, £459,000 pay-per-view bonus, a £43,000 sponsorship bonus and a well deserved £35,000 Performance of the Night bonus.

Jorge Masvidal also earned £358,000 to show, £186,000 in pay-per-view money and a £28,000 sponsorship bonus.

This is the biggest payday of Usman’s career so far and the Welterweight champion also benefited from the fact that Masvidal is also a top draw for the fans.

Kamaru Usman is a Nigerian-American professional mixed martial artist, former freestyle wrestler and graduated folkstyle wrestler.

Sourced From: Latest Nigeria News, Nigerian Newspapers, Politics

Nigeria Newspapers, Entertainment & News Updates. DisNaija.Com

Laagbe’s many wives

Nigerian Newspapers

Laagbe’s many wives