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Today’s Pressure

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The process of socialisation has made man to live by copying others. This on its own is not a problem because coming to a place (world) where you haven’t been before, it is only safe to follow the steps of those who know the terrain. People with rich story/history telling culture do their best to pass down values to the next generation using simple stories that reflect how their forefathers lived and what they actually believed.

Handing down values and belief systems has made different people unique, dynamic and peculiar- it’s a lot easier to tell even by dressing, gestures, looks or behaviour where someone comes from or would have lived for a long time to become part of that system. Apart from innate capabilities, learning and borrowing values from predecessors has a way of giving man a sense of belonging.

On the other hand, man has also grown to compete, compare and conspire to outdo one another in every sphere of life. Sometimes, this occurs as secret battle where the other parties are totally ignorant of the fight by the other to be rated higher. People engage in all sorts of things including sycophancy just to be in good books.

This crazy drive for recognition is the motivation for ‘peer pressure’ where mates want to do things simply because their contemporaries are doing them and not out of necessity. Fine, the common one people easily point accusing fingers on is the obvious peer pressure burning hard in teenagers. They have become the victims of societal influence where parents, friends and even enemies would look and condemn with ease.

As it were, it is true- teenagers live in their own world and seem to take very little notice of other people who do not belong to their class. Life for them is everything to do with their interest. They tend to want whatever they want ‘NOW’ and have no time for ‘WAIT’ or patience at all. If they are unable to wear the things their friends are wearing or go where they go, they feel out of ‘cool’.

The truth really is that everyone, (not only poor teenagers) is susceptible to ‘Peer pressure’. Some people buy a certain car simply because that is what their friends are driving at the time. Clothes and shoes is common ground for most women who feel looks define status.

We settle issues between couples frequently where the man is accused of not ‘living up to expectations’. Bethel once complained that her husband did not buy her Christmas clothes. When I listened to her cry, I asked if it was part of their family tradition to get new clothes at Christmas and she said no- “he never bothers to”.

It was particularly painful this time as she had expectations because of the party coming up in her place of work. She just needed to look nice in something nobody has seen on her before. I suggested she should wear whatever she loved in her collection and then reach for her winter coat. Common sense, mere common sense solved that problem- if you are having a party in a very cold season and in a cold environment, why kill yourself over new clothes you may not even have the opportunity to show off? I didn’t support her hubby not buying her clothes; I only helped her to handle the situation maturely and she came out happy and fulfilled at the end of the day.

Sometimes people kill themselves over things that are not really important. If you can get around it, why stress yourself?  Desiring to be like others and going out of your way to accomplish it can be a deadly sting on your life. If you can afford a particular level of life; go ahead and have fun but if you are struggling to meet up with others think twice and ask yourself sincerely if it’s really worth the headache.

One cannot recount the problems ‘pressure’ has brought upon many relationships.  Husbands have sent their beloved wives away and wives have abandoned their responsibilities because they allow feelings to control their decisions. Being swept away by the pressure of life is not something one would naturally plan for but accepting life as it unfolds could help you deal better with challenges.

Where trouble starts most times is when folks compare notes and plunge into self pity or inferiority complex. Rosa narrated her own experience. “Linda and I have been friends for as long as I can remember. When we were in college, most people thought we were sisters; to some, we bothered to answer ‘no’ while we left others believing what they would.

Marriage for us happened the same year with only two months apart. From then, we compared notes on so many issues including very personal ones too. It was good to see both families grow together though differently- Linda’s husband had a better job than mine and their standard of living was definitely higher too. We were not exactly what someone could call poor but we knew things could be better. When Linda’s husband got a second car and a very good one at that, I celebrated with her but moaned behind at my husband for not being able to match my mate. In a short time, I noticed our relationship was getting weaker by the day and spending time with my husband was no longer a priority.

What went through my mind was why I was not able to catch a loaded guy who could spoil me with good things too. I tried my best not to make my jealousy show up in my relationship with Linda but I knew where my thought wondered to when I was alone. Great relieve came when my friend’s husband got a new job and moved to another city where we could only see each with a ticket of two and a half hours flight. It was when they moved I realised all the things I was doing to my husband was simply because I expected more of him in order to measure up with a friend- it was not necessary; was it?”

This kind of pressure shows up in relationships in diverse ways; sometimes, you just kill yourself for nothing: what you are thinking about the other person might be completely false. Some people delight in giving distorted information to mislead others. They tell you how wonderful their relationship is just to set you up against your spouse. They are so quick to say how lucky they are to be with their partners. If you cannot say same about yours, it’s a matter of time before you’ll start feeling out of place. It takes a really mature and focused mind to understand that we are all different and should be ready to celebrate our differences.

Men have gone stealing because they want to measure up with pals. People do all kinds of things just to be accepted or respected in today’s society.  The decisions you take condition the type and quality of life you lead so why put yourself under unnecessary pressure?

…to be continued

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Posted in Nigeria News. A DisNaija.Com network.

Source: PM News

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Nigeria News

Kano Transfers Over 1,000 Almajiris To Different States Amidst COVID-19 Pandemic

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The Kano State Government on Saturday said it has transferred 1,098 ‘almajiris’ to different states of the country.

The commissioner for local government, Murtala Garo, disclosed this while presenting a report before the state’s task force on COVID-19 at the government house, Kano.

Almajiris are children who are supposed to be learning Islamic studies while living with their Islamic teachers. Majority of them, however, end up begging on the streets of Northern Nigeria. They constitute a large number of Nigeria’s over 10 million out-of-school children.

Mr Garo said the Kano government transported 419 almajiris to Katsina, 524 to Jigawa and 155 to Kaduna. He said all of them tested negative for coronavirus before leaving the Kano State.

Despite the coronavirus test done in Kano for the almajiris, the Jigawa government earlier said it would quarantine for two weeks all the almajiris that recently arrived from Kano.

Mr Garo said another 100 almajiris scheduled to be taken to Bauchi State also tested negative to COVID-19.

In a remark, Governor Abdullahi Ganduje said the COVID-19 situation in Kano was getting worse. He appealed for a collaborative effort to curtail the spread of the virus in the state.

Mr Ganduje, who commended residents for complying with the lockdown imposed in the state, said the decision was taken to halt the spread of the virus.

Kano State, as of Saturday night, has 77 coronavirus cases, according to the Nigeria Centre for Disease Control.

The decision to transfer the Kano almajiris is part of the agreement reached between Northern governors that almajiris in each state be transferred to their states of origin.

However, even before the latest agreement by the governors, the Kano government had been transferring almajiris to other states and neighbouring countries after it banned street begging in the state, most populous in Northern Nigeria.

Despite the transfers, however, no concrete step has been taken to ensure such children do not return to Kano streets as there is freedom of movement across Nigeria although interstate travel was recently banned to check the spread of the coronavirus.

 

Sourced From: Premium Times Nigeria

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Nigeria News

COVID-19: ‘Bakassi Boys’ Foil Attempt To Smuggle 24 Women Into Abia In Container

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By Ugochukwu Alaribe

Operatives of the Abia State Vigilante Service, AVS, popularly known as ‘Bakassi Boys’ have arrested 24 market women hidden in a container truck, at Ekwereazu Ngwa, the boundary community between Abia and Akwa Ibom states.

The market women, said to be  from Akwa Ibom State, were on their way to Aba, when they were arrested with the truck driver and two of his conductors for violating the lockdown order by the state government.

Driver of the truck, Moses Asuquo, claimed he was going to Aba to purchase stock fish, but decided to assist the market women, because they were stranded.

A vigilante source told Sunday Vanguard that the vehicle was impounded while the market women were sent back to Akwa Ibom State.

Commissioner for Home Land Security, Prince Dan Okoli, who confirmed the incident, said that  smuggling of people into the state poses great threat to the state government’s efforts to contain the spread of COVID- 19.

 

Sourced From: Vanguard News

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Nigeria News

Woman Kills Her Maid Over Salary Request

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Operatives of the State Criminal Investigation and Intelligence Department (SCIID), Yaba of the Lagos State police command have arrested one Mrs Nene Steve for allegedly killing her maid, Joy Adole

The maid was allegedly beaten to death by Nene for requesting for her salary at their residence located at 18, Ogundola Street, Bariga area in Lagos.

Narrating the incident, Philips Ejeh, an elder brother to the deceased said that he was sad when they informed him that his sister was beaten to death.

He explained that the deceased was an indigene of Benue State brought to Lagos through an agent and started working with her as a maid  in January 2020.

‘’She reported that her boss refused to pay her and anytime she asked for her salary she will start beating her.

She was making an attempt to leave the place but due to the total lockdown she remained there until Sunday when her boss said she caught her stealing noodles and this led to her serious beating and death,’’ Ejeh said.

He called on Lagos State Government and well- meaning people in the country to help them in getting justice for the victim.

The police spokesman, Bala Elkana, stated that the woman and her husband came to Bariga Police  Station to a report that their house girl had committed suicide.

Detectives were said to have visited the house and suspected foul play with the position of the rope and bruises all over the body which confirmed that the girl had been tortured to death and the boss decided to hang up the girl to make it look like suicide.

He said: “The police moved on with their investigation and found a lot of sign of violence on her body that she has been tortured before a rope was put on her neck.’’

He added that the police removed the corpse and deposited it in the mortuary for autopsy to further ascertain the cause of the death.

Elkana said the matter has been transferred from Bariga police station to Panti for further investigation while the couple have been arrested and will be charged to court.

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Boko Haram Attacks: Buhari Summons Urgent Meeting Of Service Chiefs

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President Buhari and the Service Chiefs in a meeting. (File photo)

Ostensibly alarmed by the latest killings of dozens of soldiers by Boko Haram insurgents, President Muhammadu Buhari has summoned an urgent meeting of Service Chiefs to find ways to stop the trend. 

He has also dispatched the Minister of Defence, Mansur Dan Ali, to the neighbouring Republic of Chad for an urgent meeting with President Idris Deby and his defence counterpart. 

Knowledgeable sources said in Abuja on Friday that the president is worried by on the deterioration of security situation on the Nigeria – Chad Border that has led to the recently increased Boko Haram terrorism in the area.

The sources which did not want to be named in Abuja said: “Nigeria has a Chad  problem in the Multi-National Joint Task Force (MNJTF) put together to secure the Lake Chad basin areas and repeal the Boko Haram terrorist attacks against all the countries neighbouring the Lake.”

The sources noted that Chad is believed to be having their own internal security challenges and this has reportedly led to their pulling away their own troops manning their own border around Lake Chad,  saying: “That lacuna is being exploited by the Boko Haram terrorists, who go in and out of Nigeria, Niger and Cameroon to launch terrorist acts.  This is a clear illustration of the fact that terrorism is beyond national borders.”

When contacted, the Senior Special Assistant to the President on Media and Publicity, Garba Shehu, confirmed that the Defence Minister is going to Chad but said he is unaware of the purpose. 

Meanwhile, the military authorities are said to be in the process of identifying the families of the latest victims with a view to making contact with them. 

Credible sources revealed that it is the reason the president is yet to make any pronouncement on the matter. 

“The President has called an urgent meeting with the Service Chiefs, as well as the fact that families of the latest victims of the Boko Haram are being identified and contacts made before a government pronouncement on the tragic attacks. This, it is understood, is the reason for the silence of the government over the incident,” the source said. 

 

Sourced From: Tribune

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