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Destructive Weaknesses

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Basking in the fantasy land of love and romance would naturally make someone forget that their newly found ‘love’ is human and capable of manifesting tendencies to that effect. Years ago, I can remember listening to a young bride enthuse about her hubby; “I wonder if my husband is human or an angel walking the face of the earth in human clothing”.  This pierced my ear because I knew it was an overambitious declaration which only exposed her inexperience in relationships. Just eighteen months down the line, she was contemplating divorce but thank God they are still together and getting better each day.

Weaknesses are not usually the first thing to look for when starting new relationships; it would kind of make someone sound suspicious or apprehensive if they get to ask about your weaknesses too soon. Putting it away for later times often brings surprises and heartbreak almost unbearable for either one or both partners.

Being optimistic about your relationship and expecting the best out of it (even though it might not happen) is a good gesture that can actually keep you striving to see that good day come to pass; you keep holding on for that change and bliss to surface. Most times you wonder why people are hanging in with abusive spouses or people who do not match their ideology of love- the answer is ‘expectation’; something tells them it would be better if they persist or they would come to a compromise some day and sincerely speaking, it works in most cases and it’s one reason many are still with their spouses till date despite what family and friends have said and done.

Having said that, everyone should be smart enough to know that no matter how nice their loved ones may be, they are still going to be things they’ll do that will appear a bit unkind or rude to them. This might not be primarily to offend or upset anyone but just how they are.

People naturally deny the fact that they are weak in some areas. Denying weaknesses is something that has caused so many problems in relationships- they want to be seen as refined polished, well mannered, well raised beings heading only for success and great heights. But is that who they really are? Not sure! It’s good to know that denying your weaknesses make you appear weaker while accepting and working on them make you stronger.

Some weaknesses are destructive and cruel you cannot even imagine why someone would want to put up with such while others are occasional slips which although annoying can be sorted in the course of the union. Things like; ‘He throws his shoes around whenever he’s back from work’, ‘She sleeps longer than usual’ ‘He forgets things that are important to me’ ‘She loves to shop the earth’, etc, are little (though they can sometimes escalate or be blown out of proportion) things to expect when two different souls try to tie in love.

Surprisingly, what we call weakness can sometimes pass for differences- I personally adopted this approach to help me get along with my hubby: instead of seeing his weaknesses, I turned them to our differences and it has helped me a great deal to stay calm and grow in the relationship. I always remind him “We are different people; we don’t need to be same to love or enjoy each other”. With that, I learnt how to let him enjoy his kind of recreation friends, sports, food, clothes and places to visit.

On the other hand, destructive weaknesses are those we should identify from as far as a million miles and decide what to do with them before we are ‘gone too soon’. This does not imply we hold out ‘red cards’ to people with this challenging behaviour without giving them a chance to change.

•Uncontrolled anger: Everyone gets angry at one point or the other even with the ones they love and cherish so much. A person with destructive anger is not likely to pull the gun in your first disagreement. They start by breaking things like TV, car screen, throwing sharp object at you, kicking dogs or cats on their way, reaching for your neck to squeeze, attempting to pour you hot water or acid, etc.

If your spouse does things that look like these; they need to be counselled- they really need help because if he/she doesn’t hurt you, some other person might fall victim and having a spouse with a criminal record is not something anyone desires. What would make a man/woman kill their lover over an argument?

•Infidelity: The problem of infidelity is really a hard one; its causes are so many you cannot ‘shoot with a single bullet’. Different people have different excuses for looking out for emotional satisfaction but whatever the case, you should know that there is no place in your marriage vows that permitted you sharing your body with any other person apart from the one you are legally involved. Be it personal satisfaction or social pressure, infidelity has no justification at all- once you are in, remain faithful.

Everyone can name the dangers of infidelity ranging from diseases to disgrace, exposure to all sort of dangers and shame both to you, your spouse, friends and family. It’s better not to marry than marry but flirt around. Do you want to know how destructive infidelity can be? Try telling a man/woman that you are intimate with their spouse and see the way it will end up- disastrous! Even a flirting spouse doesn’t want anyone else to touch theirs. What an irony!

•Drugs and Drinks: Has anyone been there? This is absolutely dangerous. It does not only affect the relationship but whoever is involved just starts to waste off like ash. You know sometimes I cannot tell why people should indulge in things that have been clearly declared to be ‘dangerous to health’ or can even kill. If your spouse is into drinking and use of drugs, how can you enjoy his sanity?  Where there is plenty of drugs and drink, abuse is inevitable. When people are ‘high’ on something, you can hardly predict what they can do or say- they tend to see life in opposite direction; or how else would you describe a man/woman that spent the whole day at the pub and ended up in another fellow’s bedroom while the spouse is at home waiting endlessly for their return? Seek help as soon as practicable.

•Gambling: Is your spouse addicted to gambling? Grasp your bank cards and documents now or you’ll wake up hungry or without shelter some day. When people start gambling, it’s a matter of time before they go into serious borrowing. Many have been destroyed by dreaming of the ‘big win’ that never happened. Learn to invest and save instead of expecting a windfall from nowhere.

•Others: Use of bad language, negligence, pride, laziness, lies, etc. Knowing which weakness is destructive or likely to be in your relationship is a function of who you are and who you are dealing with. What matters most is your ability to spot the danger and seek help early. Everyone has the ability to change and be a loving spouse but they need to give change a chance to rock their world.

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Posted in Nigeria News. A DisNaija.Com network.

Source: PM News

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Nigeria News

Kano Transfers Over 1,000 Almajiris To Different States Amidst COVID-19 Pandemic

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The Kano State Government on Saturday said it has transferred 1,098 ‘almajiris’ to different states of the country.

The commissioner for local government, Murtala Garo, disclosed this while presenting a report before the state’s task force on COVID-19 at the government house, Kano.

Almajiris are children who are supposed to be learning Islamic studies while living with their Islamic teachers. Majority of them, however, end up begging on the streets of Northern Nigeria. They constitute a large number of Nigeria’s over 10 million out-of-school children.

Mr Garo said the Kano government transported 419 almajiris to Katsina, 524 to Jigawa and 155 to Kaduna. He said all of them tested negative for coronavirus before leaving the Kano State.

Despite the coronavirus test done in Kano for the almajiris, the Jigawa government earlier said it would quarantine for two weeks all the almajiris that recently arrived from Kano.

Mr Garo said another 100 almajiris scheduled to be taken to Bauchi State also tested negative to COVID-19.

In a remark, Governor Abdullahi Ganduje said the COVID-19 situation in Kano was getting worse. He appealed for a collaborative effort to curtail the spread of the virus in the state.

Mr Ganduje, who commended residents for complying with the lockdown imposed in the state, said the decision was taken to halt the spread of the virus.

Kano State, as of Saturday night, has 77 coronavirus cases, according to the Nigeria Centre for Disease Control.

The decision to transfer the Kano almajiris is part of the agreement reached between Northern governors that almajiris in each state be transferred to their states of origin.

However, even before the latest agreement by the governors, the Kano government had been transferring almajiris to other states and neighbouring countries after it banned street begging in the state, most populous in Northern Nigeria.

Despite the transfers, however, no concrete step has been taken to ensure such children do not return to Kano streets as there is freedom of movement across Nigeria although interstate travel was recently banned to check the spread of the coronavirus.

 

Sourced From: Premium Times Nigeria

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Nigeria News

COVID-19: ‘Bakassi Boys’ Foil Attempt To Smuggle 24 Women Into Abia In Container

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By Ugochukwu Alaribe

Operatives of the Abia State Vigilante Service, AVS, popularly known as ‘Bakassi Boys’ have arrested 24 market women hidden in a container truck, at Ekwereazu Ngwa, the boundary community between Abia and Akwa Ibom states.

The market women, said to be  from Akwa Ibom State, were on their way to Aba, when they were arrested with the truck driver and two of his conductors for violating the lockdown order by the state government.

Driver of the truck, Moses Asuquo, claimed he was going to Aba to purchase stock fish, but decided to assist the market women, because they were stranded.

A vigilante source told Sunday Vanguard that the vehicle was impounded while the market women were sent back to Akwa Ibom State.

Commissioner for Home Land Security, Prince Dan Okoli, who confirmed the incident, said that  smuggling of people into the state poses great threat to the state government’s efforts to contain the spread of COVID- 19.

 

Sourced From: Vanguard News

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Nigeria News

Woman Kills Her Maid Over Salary Request

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Operatives of the State Criminal Investigation and Intelligence Department (SCIID), Yaba of the Lagos State police command have arrested one Mrs Nene Steve for allegedly killing her maid, Joy Adole

The maid was allegedly beaten to death by Nene for requesting for her salary at their residence located at 18, Ogundola Street, Bariga area in Lagos.

Narrating the incident, Philips Ejeh, an elder brother to the deceased said that he was sad when they informed him that his sister was beaten to death.

He explained that the deceased was an indigene of Benue State brought to Lagos through an agent and started working with her as a maid  in January 2020.

‘’She reported that her boss refused to pay her and anytime she asked for her salary she will start beating her.

She was making an attempt to leave the place but due to the total lockdown she remained there until Sunday when her boss said she caught her stealing noodles and this led to her serious beating and death,’’ Ejeh said.

He called on Lagos State Government and well- meaning people in the country to help them in getting justice for the victim.

The police spokesman, Bala Elkana, stated that the woman and her husband came to Bariga Police  Station to a report that their house girl had committed suicide.

Detectives were said to have visited the house and suspected foul play with the position of the rope and bruises all over the body which confirmed that the girl had been tortured to death and the boss decided to hang up the girl to make it look like suicide.

He said: “The police moved on with their investigation and found a lot of sign of violence on her body that she has been tortured before a rope was put on her neck.’’

He added that the police removed the corpse and deposited it in the mortuary for autopsy to further ascertain the cause of the death.

Elkana said the matter has been transferred from Bariga police station to Panti for further investigation while the couple have been arrested and will be charged to court.

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Tribune

Boko Haram Attacks: Buhari Summons Urgent Meeting Of Service Chiefs

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President Buhari and the Service Chiefs in a meeting. (File photo)

Ostensibly alarmed by the latest killings of dozens of soldiers by Boko Haram insurgents, President Muhammadu Buhari has summoned an urgent meeting of Service Chiefs to find ways to stop the trend. 

He has also dispatched the Minister of Defence, Mansur Dan Ali, to the neighbouring Republic of Chad for an urgent meeting with President Idris Deby and his defence counterpart. 

Knowledgeable sources said in Abuja on Friday that the president is worried by on the deterioration of security situation on the Nigeria – Chad Border that has led to the recently increased Boko Haram terrorism in the area.

The sources which did not want to be named in Abuja said: “Nigeria has a Chad  problem in the Multi-National Joint Task Force (MNJTF) put together to secure the Lake Chad basin areas and repeal the Boko Haram terrorist attacks against all the countries neighbouring the Lake.”

The sources noted that Chad is believed to be having their own internal security challenges and this has reportedly led to their pulling away their own troops manning their own border around Lake Chad,  saying: “That lacuna is being exploited by the Boko Haram terrorists, who go in and out of Nigeria, Niger and Cameroon to launch terrorist acts.  This is a clear illustration of the fact that terrorism is beyond national borders.”

When contacted, the Senior Special Assistant to the President on Media and Publicity, Garba Shehu, confirmed that the Defence Minister is going to Chad but said he is unaware of the purpose. 

Meanwhile, the military authorities are said to be in the process of identifying the families of the latest victims with a view to making contact with them. 

Credible sources revealed that it is the reason the president is yet to make any pronouncement on the matter. 

“The President has called an urgent meeting with the Service Chiefs, as well as the fact that families of the latest victims of the Boko Haram are being identified and contacts made before a government pronouncement on the tragic attacks. This, it is understood, is the reason for the silence of the government over the incident,” the source said. 

 

Sourced From: Tribune

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